Do you know what a cool story is? A cool story is the kind of story your effervescent neighbor at the bar slurs at your for ten minutes straight, sans consonants, while using his Molson as a crutch. At the conclusion of such a story, such a fine story with such depth and richness, it’s apt to stand up, bow slightly, and leave with the following bon mot : “Cool story, bro.“

This is for you, broski. This is for you, brodysseus . This is for you, tenderbroni. May all your collars be popped and all of your white Kangol hats fit at a rakish angle. Here’s to you champion of the one-hand-on-the-wall-the-other-hand-on-your-beer sidewalk peeing. Here’s to you poster boy for “Peaked in high school.”

That’s a cool story, bro.

So, I made these earrings in response to all the bro-ness I cherish so much, and also in homage to one of my favorite responses to all stories about sports, celebrities, and attempts at conversation about Ayn Rand. I’ll soon be coming out with necklaces and keychains based on the same themes because you’re my bro, and I love you.